Jeremy Corbyn says he is “not happy” with UK police or security services operating a “shoot-to-kill” policy in the event of a terror attack.
Here is a letter to him from my friend, Phil.
Dear Mr Corybin,
As a life long Labour supporter I feel it is my duty to make you happy. To that end allow me to suggest that you go to Syria to negotiate with IS. Should you be taken hostage, I promise you that I will do all in my power to persuade the government not to shoot to kill when a rescue attempt is mounted.
I applaud your stance on the Jihadi John affair. If only we had captured him instead of illegally droning him, things would have looked much more secure for us. Of course, had he been captured we would not have shot to kill if an attempt had been made to free him from Bellmarsh prison by some friends of his from Syria. Nor would we have allowed the SAS to shoot to kill if thousands of football fans had been held hostage in some football stadium by Islamist fanatics seeking JJ’s release. We deplore the French security service for shooting to kill the other day. Allow me to suggest that you get in touch with that self-hating Jewish MP Gerald Coughman, er, Kaufman, and ask him to accompany you to the negotiations in Syria with IS. You could even take your Jihadi ex-lover Ms Diane Abbott, MP, and pro-Palestinian Jewish lesbian actress Miriam Margolis (best of luck with that type of sexual persuasion in Raqqa, Miriam) with you to keep you warm in the cold desert night. Between the two of them they should be able to make both you and your hosts extremely happy.
Remember, stay calm and do all you can to bring the negotiations to a successful conclusion, and don’t forget that the first rule to bluffing out a parley with Islamic State is not to lose your head!
I prefer to call the Labour party leader by another pseudonym, Jeremy Cor Blimey (a cockney expression of exasperation or alarm – but not in this case admiration) that literally means God Blind Me. I thought it would have been impossible to outdo Dumb and Dumber in the White House and State department, but our Jeremy takes the biscuit. Churchill must be rolling over in his grave.