My Mideast Punchlines: now you see him, now you don’t…

A proposed official royal visit to Israel was quashed by Britain’s Foreign Office, according to The Sun.

Prince Charles was set to travel to Israel to honour thousands of British war dead at the centenary of the WW1 Palestine Campaign and the historic Balfour Declaration.

But insiders say the controversial trip – unofficially pencilled in for later this year – has now been binned.

It is feared the decision may have been taken to avoid upsetting Arab nations in the region who regularly host UK Royals.

Oh, no, we can’t go upsetting the Arabs, can we? Well, at least not until their oil runs out, or foreign office mandarins cease their romantic imaginings of riding across the desert, keffiyahs billowing in the wind. Then we can feel free to say what we really think about the Arabs and their misogynistic religion. Meanwhile, Britain should honour the Jewish spy group, the NILI, for not having to mark the deaths of tens of thousands of more British war dead. The NILI — not T.E. Lawrence — were responsible for enabling Britain’s victory and gaining of the League of Nations mandate to rule Palestine, a bit of a poisoned chalice when you think about it.

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