My Mideast Punchlines: demolition derby….

According to an Associated Press article focused on other examples of vehicle attacks around the world, the London attack “was the latest in a string of incidents in which drivers used their vehicles as weapons.”

The AP then goes on to describe the following incidents:

  • January 2017 – Melbourne, Australia
  • December 2016 – Berlin, Germany
  • July 2016 – Nice, France
  • December 2014 – Dijon and Nantes, France
  • October 2014 – Montreal, Canada
  • June 2007 – Glasgow, Scotland

No prizes for guessing which democratic country is conspicuous by its absence.

As documented by Israel’s Foreign Ministry, Israel has suffered 55 vehicular (ramming) attacks since the beginning of the wave of terror in September 2015.

Which all goes to make me feel ashamed of once being an AP correspondent. Now, if you add in all the suicide bomb vehicular attacks carried out by Arabs (mainly on other Arabs), the victims probably number in the scores of thousands. Those terrorist drivers sure do love a demolition derby.

Update: following complaints, the AP added an incident in Jerusalem in 2017 to the list. What about the other 54 attacks?!

My Mideast Punchlines: a load of old pap….

A conference in Ireland debating Israel’s right to exist  will feature a number of ardent critics of the Jewish state,  including Israeli anti-Zionist historian Ilan Pappe and Professor Oren Ben-Dor.

Alan Johnson, a British professor scheduled to speak at the conference debating Israel’s right to exist, has withdrawn from the event scheduled for the end of this month. Reason? The organisers have issued an invitation to Richard Falk to give a keynote speech. Johnson says that “by inviting a speaker who espouses anti-Semitic conspiracy theories, the conference is now objectively an attempt to normalise anti-Semitism, and I cannot attend such an event.”

Good for you, Mr Johnson, although why you would want to mix in such company in the first place is beyond me. I know that you wanted to defend Israel’s right to exist, but you are pissing against the wind with these characters. Nobody talks more pap than Ilan Pappe and his cohorts. There’s nothing I despise more than self-hating Jews (are you listening down there in Hades, Mr Gerald Kaufman?), some of whom are proud to call themselves such. How sad. Just imagine if they were self-hating Muslims. Fatwa, anyone?



My Mideast Punchlines: a question of mobility….

Israeli-Arab MK Basel Ghattas reached a plea agreement with prosecutors in which he admitted smuggling cell phones and SIM cards to Palestinian security prisoners, agreed to give up his Knesset seat, and serve a two-year prison term.

The rather restrictive size of the exercise yard in jail means that Ghattas is bound to be less mobile, so to speak. No doubt he’ll miss the phone sex with Hamas the most.


My Mideast Punchlines: Bung Ho!

A senior UN official quit after her agency pulled from its web site a report labelling Israeli treatment of Palestinians as “apartheid.” Reuters explains in a nutshell:

United Nations Under-Secretary General and Executive Secretary for the Economic and Social Commission for Western Asia (ESCWA), Rima Khalaf, announced her resignation at a news conference in Beirut after U.N. Secretary-General Antonio Guterres asked for the report to be taken off the ESCWA website.

ESCWA, which comprises 18 Arab states, published the report on Wednesday and said it was the first time a U.N. body had clearly charged that Israel “has established an apartheid regime that dominates the Palestinian people as a whole.”

UN spokesman Stephane Dujarric explained to reporters:

“The secretary-general cannot accept that an under-secretary general or any other senior U.N. official that reports to him would authorise the publication under the U.N. name, under the U.N. logo, without consulting the competent departments and even himself,” he said.

Meanwhile, PA President Mahmoud Abbas decides to decorate the klafteh (Yiddish for busybody) Khalaf for ‘bravery’ over the report, which figures when you consider how much he uses UN and EU money to pay stipends to the families of Palestinian Jew-killers in Israeli jails. Still, at least on the ‘apartheid’ issue, the UN secretary-general has shown that he is not prepared to be defecated on from a great height by the Arabs. And may Guterres’ use of a rectal bung cause them to suffer the most chronic and long-lasting constipation. No shit!

My Mideast Punchlines: Falk off!

A new UN report smearing Israel is raising a stink. This one’s from the Economic and Social Commission for Western Asia (ESCWA) and authored by Professor Richard Falk, a former UN human rights official (with his own history of Israel-bashing, anti-Semitism and conspiracy theories). US Ambassador Nikki Haley demands the report be retracted.

The report, titled “Israeli Practices towards the Palestinian People and the Question of Apartheid,” says that “available evidence establishes beyond a reasonable doubt that Israel is guilty of policies and practices that constitute the crime of apartheid as legally defined in instruments of international law.”

The New York Times notes that the Beirut-based ESCWA is “composed entirely of Arab member states; most do not recognize Israel,” adding:

It appeared to be the first time in a United Nations report that the term apartheid had been used as a central description of Israeli policies toward Palestinians.

All this is a bit rich when PA chairman Mahmoud Abbas is on record as saying that any future Palestinian state will be Jew-free. Still, what else can  one expect from the United Nonces? And you, Prof Richard, can Falk off, too.

My Mideast Punchlines: say, cheese…..

Why is the Swiss government funding initiatives that call for the destruction of Israel and the murder of Jews? The Jerusalem Post picked up on a report in the Basel-based Basler Zeitung which raises a lot of questions:

According to the report, since 2013, the Swiss government has funnelled nearly $700,000 to a human rights office in Ramallah that has functioned as a front organization, to avoid criticism by Western countries. The office is funded by Switzerland, Denmark, the Netherlands and Sweden, and seeks to cover up the antisemitic work of its partner NGOs, the report said . . .

The Swiss government has not been transparent about whether their funding streams entail graft, the article said. In response to reports last year about alleged financial misconduct involving Middle East projects, the Swiss parliamentary body Bundesrat rejected a motion from MP Christian Imark in 2016 to ban taxpayer money for initiatives that spread “racism and antisemitism.”

So, what’s new? Swiss excuses for purloining the billions stolen from Jews and stashed in their banks by the Nazis are about as substantial as the holes in their cheese. But you can’t say they aren’t giving something back. ‘After all, the Palestinians are Semites, too, you know,’ is the probable excuse this time.

My Mideast punchlines: UN perfidy…again!

Here we go again: Top UN staffer in Gaza said elected to Hamas leadership. Muhammad al-Jamassi, the UNRWA’s infrastructure chief is reportedly an elected member of the terror group’s politburo. More at the Intelligence & Terrorism Information Center, which disclosed Jamassi’s terror ties.

The UNRWA recently suspended Suhail al-Hindi over his leadership position in Hamas.

HAMAS and UNRWA have been interchangeable entities for years. They live in each other’s pockets. If Hamas didn’t keep a third of its population festering in refugee camps in the Gaza strip, there would be no need for UNRWA. Needs do as needs must. Victimhood has never been more glorified.


My Mideast Punchlines: another Corbyn botched repair job…

Jeremy Corbyn has appointed two MPs with anti-Israel views to lead his party’s efforts to repair relations with the Jewish community.

Kate Osamor and Sarah Champion will informally share the role vacated by Dawn Butler last month when she quit her position as Shadow Minister for Minority Ethnic Communities.

Ms Champion has been a leading critic of Israel and campaigned for the government to set up a “watchlist” of Israelis who are “known war crime suspects”.

In January last year she led a Parliamentary debate in which she accused the Israeli Defence Forces of “mass intimidation and collective punishment” of Palestinians in the West Bank. She has previously visited the Palestinian territory and said “being pro-Palestine does not make you anti-Israel”.

Ms Osamor has her own chequered history on the region. Last year she signed a letter attacking the government’s plans to curb boycotts of Israel. She put her name to the call for an end to arms trading with Israel, claiming Israel “attacks Palestinians with impunity.”

biffI welcome this move because it will encourage former Labour stalwarts among the UK’s Jewish community to leave the fold. One example is my 101-year-old aunt, who had voted Labour all her adult life until the last election. The left of Jeremy Corbyn is the new fascism. Sir Oswald Mosley’s blackshirts were paragons of virtue compared to the Corbynistas. They may not use real coshes, but they bludgeon us nonetheless with lies, distortions and downright mendacity. As my friend, Philip, quipped, “for a Jew to vote for Corbyn’s Labour party would be like a turkey voting for Christmas.”

My Mideast Punchlines: culture club ….

The Haifa District Court has sentenced Shlomo Pinto, 33, to 11 years in prison for attempted murder, for stabbing a fellow Jew he mistook for an Arab in a revenge attack.

biffPinto got what he deserved. What he won’t be getting is a stipend and banners proclaiming ‘better luck next time’. For that, you would have to be a resident of the Palestinian Authority who mistakenly stabbed an Arab thinking he was a Jew.

While one member of the Middle Eastern Culture Club jails its racist homicidal bigots, the other side lauds them.

My Mideast Punchlines: hotter than Hades….

Philadelphia’s Jewish community was stunned after vandals overturned headstones in a Jewish cemetery. WPVI News explains why you may have seen a discrepancy in the number.

Police say as many as 100 graves were vandalised, while those trying to clean up counted more than 500.

biffIt is but a short jump from headstones to heads, and vice versa. Personally, I’m all for cremation — not for Jews, but for anti-Semites, preferably ante-mortem. I mean, it can’t be any hotter for them than the hell of all-consuming hatred they already inhabit.