My Mideast Punchlines: Jasbir’s jabberings…

Ah, the high tower of Academia. Further to my punchline entitled “flesh wound” and concerning a new award-winning book by Jasbir Puar, a professor of gender studies in the US, in which she argues that Israel maims but deliberately doesn’t kill Palestinians, to better subjugate them, here’s an excerpt that I’m sure you will find enlightening:

“Disciplinary enclosure consorts with micromodulations of bodily becomings to ensure a population laden with affective reactivity. A politically regulated and controlled affective logic projected and interpreted as cultural and civilisational reactivity reinforces Orientalist projections of racial difference.”

I suggest that we all should receive an award for even attempting to get our heads around that sort of gobbledygook. It’s almost as if you are, Puar, trying to convince yourself of your absurd allegation by deliberately confusing the rest of us plebs with your academic amphigory*

*a nonsense verse or composition : a rigmarole with apparent meaning which proves to be meaningless.

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My Mideast Punchlines: atrocious…

Israel could have created the antisemitism row that has engulfed Labour, one of Jeremy Corbyn’s major trade union allies has suggested.

Mark Serwotka, general secretary of the Public and Commercial Services Union, told a fringe event at the TUC conference that Israel could have “created a story that does not exist” to distract attention from its own “atrocities”.

Well, waddya know, yet another Israel conspiracy theory. If we Jews possessed only a fraction of the dark powers attributed to us, we’d really rule the world. The only atrocity that exists is Mr Serwotka himself. Mind you, if Corbyn ever came to power, he might be moved to recommend Serwotka for a knighthood. Arise, Sir Wotka. The red-top headline writers would have a field day.

My Mideast Punchlines: flesh wound…

A book accusing the IDF of deliberately sparing the lives of Palestinians in order to debilitate them was awarded the 2018 Alison Piepmeier Book Prize by the National Women’s Studies Association. The Algemeiner explains:

Jasbir Puar, an associate professor of women’s and gender studies, co-won the NWSA’s 2018 Alison Piepmeier Book Prize for her work The Right to Maim: Debility, Capacity, Disability.

Published by in November 2017 by Duke University Press — which has come under scrutiny for its editorial advisors’ ties to the Palestinian-led boycott, divestment, and sanctions (BDS) campaign against Israel — the book posits that the “Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) have shown a demonstrable pattern over decades of sparing life, of shooting to maim rather than to kill.”

Yet it contends that this “purportedly humanitarian practice of sparing death by shooting to maim” is not rooted in a desire to minimize fatalities, but rather seeks to maintain “Palestinian populations as perpetually debilitated, and yet alive, in order to control them.”

It’s safe to say that if Puar had written a book about how Tsahal had solely a shoot-to-kill policy, it too would have garnered a Piepmeier prize. When it comes to Israel, it always seems that you’re damned if you do and your damned if you don’t. As one who has served in Tsahal and learned tohar ha’neshek (purity of arms)*, I suggest you don’t worry too much about this garbage. It’s only a flesh wound.

(*The code of purity of arms (Hebrew: טוהר הנשק‎, Tohar HaNeshek) is one of the values stated in the Israel Defense Forces‘ official doctrine of ethics, The Spirit of the IDF. It states that:

“	The soldier shall make use of his weaponry and power only for the fulfillment of the mission and solely to the extent required; he will maintain his humanity even in combat. The soldier shall not employ his weaponry and power in order to harm non-combatants or prisoners of war, and shall do all he can to avoid harming their lives, body, honor and property.	”
— IDF Spirit[

 

My Mideast Punchlines: having a blast…

The IDF acknowledged carrying out airstrikes on 202 Iranian targets in Syria since 2017. The hits “were mostly shipments of advanced weaponry, as well as military bases and infrastructure, which the IDF officials said drove Iranian forces to abandon some posts.” More on the story at Reuters.

I can just imagine the job description for those accompanying the shipments sent by the Iranian military: “Travel, adventure, a real blast. Martyrdom assured.”

My Mideast Punchlines: pardon my vent…

Good news and bad news from the UK Labour party. The good news is that the party adopted the International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance’s full working definition of antisemitism. The bad news is that the party leaders also attached a statement that the definition will not “in any way undermine freedom of expression on Israel or the rights of the Palestinians.”

As for the party leader himself, Jeremy Corbyn maintained that it is not anti-Semitic to describe the creation of Israel as racist. (He was overruled by Labour’s National Executive Committee.)

Well, Jezza, calling you an anti-Semitic commie bastard is not racist either. So here goes: you, Jeremy Corbyn, are an anti-Semitic commie bastard. My feelings can all be summed up in one hyphenated word: vent-axia. Now you might regard this as the name of a manufacturer of electric fans. Well, to disambiguate, while the meaning of vent is clear, axia in taxonomy is either a moth genus in the family Cimeliidae or a worm genus in the family Macrostomidae. Guess which one you are, Jezza.

My Mideast Punchlines: off the menu….

Footage has been found of Jeremy Corbyn thanking Hamas and flattering them for a a takeaway meal he enjoyed with them in 2010, the Sun reported.

The footage was found not long after Corbyn claimed to not remember having any such meal with terrorists.

First Jezza doesn’t recall being actually involved in a wreath-laying for terrorists. Now he can’t recall having a meal with another bunch of terrorists. Maybe the Labour leader really doesn’t know his humous from his Hamas. One thing’s for certain: he should be taken off the political menu.

Click here:  https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/7170106/jeremy-corbyn-exposed-dining/

 

My mideast Punchlines: harum-scarum..

Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar says: We’ll fire hundreds of rockets at central Israel if ceasefire talks fail, saying they can make alarm sirens wail in the Tel Aviv region for six months straight.

Be careful what you wish for ya Yahya. Israel tends to shoot back, so you must hope that it does so within the daily six hours of electricity that you manage to give your people, so that any alarms might work. On the other hand, because you want as many of your own “innocent” civilians to be killed as possible, you probably don’t have any air raid sirens in place anyway, electric or manual.

 

My Mideast Punchlines: buzz, buzz…

Jeremy Corbyn claimed that Israeli officials control the speeches made by British MPs, in bizarre comments that have been called an ‘anti-Semitic conspiracy theory’ which ‘casts Jews as sinister manipulators’, the MailOnline revealed.

The remarks were captured on video in 2010, at a meeting of the Palestine Solidarity Campaign (PSC) in London. In a speech about the shooting of Turkish activists at sea by the Israeli commandos, the Labour leader said:

‘[British MPs] all turned up [to the debating chamber] with a pre-prepared script. I’m sure our friend Ron Prosor (the Israeli ambassador) wrote it.

‘Because they all came up with the same key words. It was rather like reading a European document looking for buzz-words.

‘And the buzz-words were, “Israel’s need for security”. And then “the extremism of the people on one ship”. And “the existence of Turkish militants on the vessel”.

‘It came through in every single speech, this stuff came through.’

MailOnline examined the transcript of the debate in question and could find no evidence that any of Mr Corbyn’s ‘buzz words’ were mentioned by MPs.

In addition, a number of parliamentarians who spoke during the session confirmed to MailOnline that they received no such ‘pre-prepared script’ or ‘buzz-words’ from Israeli sources.

So here’s a few buzz words about you from me, Jezza, you old buzzard: anti-Semite, terror apologist, serial wreath-layer for nasty people, left-wing nut-job. I know I could come up with some more but, frankly, my head’s buzzing enough already.

My Mideast Punchlines: electrifrying!

The Daily Telegraph reports that at a 2012 conference in Doha, Jeremy Corbyn sat on a panel with a Hamas terror leader with plenty of blood on his hands.

As Hamas’ top leader in the northern West Bank, Husam Badran orchestrated suicide bombings at Netanya’s Park Hotel (a.k.a. the Passover massacre: 30 killed, 140 injured), Tel Aviv’s Dolphinariumnightclub (21 killed, 120 injured) and Jerusalem’s Sbarro restaurant (15 dead, 130 injured).

Three days after the conference, Mr Corbyn acknowledged in his regular column in the Morning Star that he had listened to speeches given by terrorists who had been released “in return for the Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit”, adding that “their contribution was fascinating and electrifying”.

The only thing suitable for Corbyn’s odious fellow travellers would also be electrifying — the electric chair. That the leader of the Labour party could be so enthusiastic about  such callous murderers of innocent people speaks volumes. You vote for the Red Menace at your peril.

My Mideast Punchlines: it’s only make-believe…

The two Americans killed by ISIS in Tajikstan in an attack by ISIS at the end of last month were on a world tour to prove that “humans are kind.”

“You read the papers and you’re led to believe that the world is a big, scary place,” Jay Austin wrote on his blog. “People, the narrative goes, are not to be trusted. People are bad. People are evil.

“I don’t buy it,” he continued. “Evil is a make-believe concept we’ve invented to deal with the complexities of fellow humans holding values and beliefs and perspectives different than our own… By and large, humans are kind. Self-interested sometimes, myopic sometimes, but kind. Generous and wonderful and kind.”

Following a movement among fellow millennials, Jay Austin and Lauren Geoghegan, both in their late 20s, quit their jobs after coming to the conclusion that they were wasting their lives working, reported the Pluralist.

Austin and Geohegan, who were biking at the time, were first rammed by a car driven by the terrorists then stabbed to death on the side of the road.

Evil does as evil says. And no one says it louder than ISIS. As someone who has spent some time covering wars in the Mideast, there’s enough evil in the region without actively looking for it. Unless, of course, you are Jeremy Corbyn. Bet he can’t wait to discover the whereabouts of the grave of Jihadi John so that he can lay a wreath. He, too, sees good in evil, but, in the immortal words of the Conway Twtitty hit song, “it’s only make-believe..”