My Mideast Punchlines: giving it the bird….

Israelis discovered a falcon near Gaza with an incendiary device tied to it. Per Ynet, “An initial inspection by the Israel Nature and National Parks Protection Authority revealed that the falcon was harnessed to, and not merely entangled in, the combustible material.” The Times of Israel adds that “the falcon was found dead, hanging by the attached string from a burned tree near the Nahal Habesor riverbed.”

It’s the first time Palestinians used animals to spread fires. On a handful of occasions, Palestinians unsuccessfully sent bomb-laden donkeys and horses at soldiers, resulting only in the deaths of the animals.

biffIt’s time the western media’s support for Hamas was also given the bird. No doubt the liberal-left do-gooders are clutching their heads in horror at the thought of birds and other animals being sacrificed in the Palestinian cause. Rocket attacks and burnt fields don’t quite have the same cachet, do they?

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My Mideast Punchlines: Norwegian Wood….

The Norwegians, again. At least two hospitals in Norway are refusing to service parents who wish to have their underage male children circumcised in violation of Norwegian law, a Norwegian paper revealed.

Stavanger University Hospital in the country’s west and Haukeland University Hospital in Bergen are not cooperating on the nonmedical circumcision of boys younger than 3 years, the Stavanger Aftenblad regional newspaper reported Monday.

The ban is in violation of Norwegian law, which requires public hospitals to offer ritual circumcision services either through their own facilities and staff or through a contractor, the newspaper reported.

biffThe World Health Organization(WHO) estimates that  33% of adult males worldwide (aged 15+) are circumcised, with almost 70% of those being Muslims. Of course, the same goes for the world’s 13 million-odd Jews. Fully 58% of Americans are circumcised. The foreskin is, like an appendix, a useless and potentially lethal appendage. It can harbour diseases that can maim and kill (AIDS); diseases that can be passed on to others. There are male circumcision procedures today that are 99.9% safe. So what’s the big deal? I’m sure most women would prefer their men not to get Norwegian ‘wood’. Aesthetically and health-wise, it’s a no-contest.

My Mideast Punchlines: pain in Spain…

Spain’s government wants to reestablish the doctrine of universal jurisdiction to allow its courts to investigate serious crimes committed abroad, Justice Minister Dolores Delgado said on Wednesday.

“The ministry expects to return to the universal jurisdiction legislation that was in force between 1985 and 2009,” the ministry said in a statement, adding that it would expand the law to take in economic, financial and environmental crimes.

“Only in this way will Spain be able to once again occupy the worthy position that it had at the vanguard of the defense of human rights and the protection of victims,” Delgado added during a parliamentary committee.

biffFirstly, let’s be quite clear that these do-gooders’ main target is likely to be the ‘crimes’ of Israeli soldiers. Secondly, Spain, among the most corrupt of EU countries, should concentrate on putting its own house in  order. That’s the real pain in Spain.

My Mideast Punchlines: woe to the Vikings…

A Jerusalem judge issued a temporary confiscation order for a pair of Norwegian ships due to participate in a flotilla to symbolically break the blockade of Gaza, reports Ynet. Till now, intercepted ships were towed to Ashdod and then subsequently released.

The court order allows for the Karstein and Freedom, worth approximately 75,000 euros, to be used for monetary compensation for victims of Hamas terrorism the moment they enter Israeli waters.

biffI wonder how many ships Norway would be prepared to lose in its support of Hamas terrorism. The Vikings should be encouraged to send as many as possible. The victims of Hamas could certainly do with the money.

My Mideast Punchlines: thinly-sliced….

In a recent speech, Gen. Hossein Salami, the deputy commander of Iran’s Revolutionary Guards (IRGC),  boasted that the “Islamic army in Syria” in the Golan Heights was awaiting orders to eradicate the “evil regime” of Israel.

He also said the Tehran-backed Hezbollah terror group had 100,000 missiles aimed at Israel.

biffFirstly. anyone named after a type of sausage should be very careful about throwing brickbats. Secondly, judging by the millions of Muslims slaughtered by other Muslims, I’d say it’s Islam that constitutes a threat to the entire Islamic world. Salami’s thinly-sliced blustering is based on weakness rather than strength.

My Mideast Punchlines: what’s it all about, Saeb?

Serial complainer Saeb Erekat is at it again. Only this time, the Palestinian ‘negotiator’ is berating his own leadership rather than the Israelis.

We have never reached this level of weakness in front of our people,” said Erekat, a 63-year-old top aide to PA chairman Mahmoud Abbas.

“At the end of the day, governing is not about how decent you are and how honest you are,” Mr. Erekat said. “You promised your people you do something. You didn’t.”

biffI just don’t understand why Saeb is now getting so uppity. I mean, the Palestinian Authority has been a kleptocracy as long as anyone can remember. And as kleptocracy comes from the Greek for ‘thief’, ‘I steal’ and ‘rule’, he should be the last one to fail to understand that kelptocrats use their power to exploit the people and natural resources of their own territory in order to extend their personal wealth and political powers. Typically, this system involves embezzlement of funds at the expense of the wider population. While we’re at it, can we also check your bank account, please, Mr Eerekat?

I leave you by paraphrasing the lyrics of the classic song, “What’s it all about, Alfie

‘What’s it all about, Saeb Is it just for the moment we live

What’s it all about
When you sort it out
Saeb

Are we meant to take more than we give
Or are we meant to be kind
And if only fools are kind
Saeb
Then I guess
It is wise to be cruel
And if life belongs
Only to the strong
Saeb…..’
HERE’S THE WHITNEY HOUSTON VERSION

My Mideast Punchlines: under the weather….

An Iranian general has accused Israel of manipulating the weather to prevent rain over the country, claiming that it was facing cloud “theft”.

“The changing climate in Iran is suspect,” Brigadier-General Gholam Reza Jalili, head of Iran’s civil defence organisation, told a press conference.

“Israel and another country in the region have joint teams which work to ensure clouds entering Iranian skies are unable to release rain,” he said, adding, “on top of that, we are facing the issue of cloud and snow theft.”

biffWhat an apt first name the general has. Gholam sounds very much like Golem.  which in Jewish folklore is an animated anthropomorphic being that is magically created entirely from inanimate matter.  It can be victim or villain, Jew or non-Jew, man or woman—or sometimes both. Over the centuries it has been used to connote war, community, isolation, hope and despair.” Well, folks, that just about sums up the desperation felt by Iran and the aforementioned Gholam. You know your head’s in the clouds when you have to add cloud-stealing to the already-burgeoning list of calumnies perpetrated by the Zionists against freedom-loving Iran. It’s no wonder General Jalili is feeling under the weather.

My Mideast Punchlines: satanic verses…

Iranians protesting the country’s tanking currency on Monday were heard shouting “Death to Palestine” amid nationwide anger over the Islamic Republic’s increasingly troubled economy.

At a crossroads in central Tehran, police fired tear gas at dozens of youths shouting slogans and throwing stones, eyewitnesses said, while traders in the Iranian capital’s Grand Bazaar held a rare protest strike.

Videos posted to social media showed protesters chanting: “Death to Palestine,” “No to Gaza, no to Lebanon” and “Leave Syria and think of us.” Chants of “We don’t want the ayatollahs” and “Death to the dictator” were also heard at some rallies.

biffWhat a pleasant change from the usual chants of “Death to Israel” and “Death to America”. Now that the venom against the Great Satan and the Little Satan is being directed towards the Peewee Satan we can all agree that never was opprobrium more deserved.

My Mideast Punchlines: Marr-ed with a black mark…

The BBC found Andrew Marr guilty of rules breach over a ‘misleading’ claim that Israel killed ‘lots of Palestinian kids’ in response to complaint filed by Jonathan Sacerdoti.

The Corporation’s extraordinary ruling against one of its most senior personalities is almost unprecedented . . .

Fraser Steel, head of executive complaints at the BBC, wrote to Mr Sacerdoti saying: ‘The BBC’s guidelines require that output is “well sourced” and “based on sound evidence”.

‘In the absence of any evidence to support the reference to “lots” of children being killed at the time of transmission, it seems to us to have risked misleading audiences on a material point.

‘We therefore propose to uphold this part of your complaint.’

biffSo why doesn’t the BBC fire Marr, as well as other ne’er-do-wells like Jeremy Bowen and Orla Guerin? Both are responsible for a litany of biased reporting. The Bullshit Broadcasting Corporation, indeed.