My Mideast Punchlines: at last, a journalist big enough to admit he was wrong….


My Mideast Punchlines: Hamas tells the truth…shock, horror!

A Hamas official on Wednesday acknowledged that 50 of the 62 Palestinians reported killed during Gaza border riots on Monday and Tuesday were members of the Islamist terrorist group, bringing the total number of known members of terror groups among the fatalities up to 53.

“In the last rounds of confrontations, if 62 people were martyred, fifty of the martyrs were Hamas and 12 from the people. How can Hamas reap the fruits if it pays such an expensive price?” said Hamas official Salah Bardawil in a filmed interview with the Palestinian Baladna news outlet.

Questioned about the figures by the presenter, Bardawil said they were “official numbers..

biffShock, horror…Hamas tells the truth! In admitting in a televised interview that 50 Hamas members died leading the “peaceful” protests, it could not be more clear who is to blame for the number of deaths, which may be inflated given that another video circulating social media shows Hamas ‘martyrs’ beneath white death shrouds twitching and turning. One even the shroud pulled from his face, smiled and then went back under it. Don’t, however, expect any of this to appear on the BBC or CNN.


My Mideast Punchlines: Obama’s fading legacy…

President Trump’s withdrawal from the Iran nuclear deal demolished yet another pillar of Obama’s legacy, so the ex-president thought it was time to come out of the shadows by declaring his successor’s action as a “serious mistake” that could have devastating consequences.

Mr Obama’s defence of one of his signature foreign policy achievements was laid out in 12 meticulous paragraphs, culminating in a stinging sign-off.

biffNow, I’m going to quote that sign-off para, but I have taken the liberty of putting in brackets the reality as it should apply to him, and not to Donald J. Trump.

“Going forward, I hope that Americans continue to speak out in support of (against) the (my) kind of strong (weak) principled (unprincipled: red line; what red line?) fact-based (fake) and unifying (disunifying) leadership that can best (worst) secure and uphold our responsibilities around the globe.”

As one conservative wag put it: “with the Paris climate deal dead, the Iran nuclear deal on life support and Obamacare eviscerated, Obama’s only real legacy at this point is the presidency of Donald Trump.”

And thank heaven for that.


My Mideast Punchlines: theatre of the absurd…

The Palestinian Authority is expected to pay the terrorist who slaughtered three members of the Salomon family NIS 12,604,000 ($3,478,015) over the course of his lifetime.

Omar al-Abed murdered Yosef Salomon and two of his children, Elad and Chaya, and wounded Yosef’s wife, Tovah, when they were celebrating the birth of a grandson in their home. Elad’s wife hid their children in a nearby room in the house, where they heard the massacre take place. Abed was given four life sentences

Defence Minister Avigdor Liberman released the calculations of how much the terrorists in several recent attacks are expected to be paid by the Palestinian Authority ahead of Monday’s expected first vote on a bill that would deduct the amount of funding for terrorists from the taxes and tariffs Israel collects for the PA.

The PA paid terrorists over a billion shekels ($347 million) in 2017, and upped the amount to over NIS 1.4 billion ($403 million) in its 2018 budget.

“I call on all MKs to join us and vote in favour of the law and put an end to this theatre of the absurd,” Liberman said. “Every shekel sent to the murderers will be deducted from the PA tax money. We will stop funding terrorism.”

biffJust imagine if every Islamist murderer in the UK or US were paid the average national salary for the rest of their lives (or, if they are executed, their families). Theatre of the absurd, indeed. But no more absurd than the fact the most of the PA aid money comes from US and EU taxpayers. Yes, that’s you and me, folks. PA chairman Abbas and his cronies have been laughing all the way to the bank for far too long.

My Mideast Punchlines: shadow boxing…

A number of papers picked up on a Boston Globe scoop that former secretary of state John Kerry is quietly engaging in “shadow diplomacy” with Iranian and European officials to preserve the nuclear accord.

biffI heard somewhere that this action by the dumber member of the previous administration’s Dumb and Dumber partnership might be contravening the US Constitution. This aside, John Kerry, as Secretary of State, was the world’s greatest exponent of useless shuttle diplomacy. Over the years of flying hither and thither in vain, he ended up as a shadow of his former self. So, in a way, it’s fair to say that he may be somewhat of an expert on shadow diplomacy. Should Trump preserve the nuclear accord with Iran, then expect Kerry to claim some of the credit. And what if it goes the other way? Well, the thing about shadows is that they tend to disappear when the sun doesn’t shine.

My Mideast Punchlines: what a gas!

Palestinian youths at the Kerem Shalom set Gaza’s own gas line on fire at weekly fence protests. The IDF said the Palestinians didn’t cross over to the Israeli side and destroyed their own fuel supply infrastructure.

biffWhy, use Palestinian logic, of course. We need more gas to cook with and to heat our homes, so what should we do? Well, any gas we do get comes from Israel, so let’s blow up the pipeline so that we don’t have any gas to cook with at all.

My Mideast Punchlines: as high as a kite…

The weekly border clashes continued on Friday with some 10,000 Palestinians demonstrating at several points along the border. Many threw firebombs at Israeli soldiers, while others sought to damage or breach the border fence. Palestinians even tried to fly a “peace” kite bomb over soldiers but the Daily Mail reports things didn’t go as planned as the kite was blown into Gaza before crashing to the ground and exploding.

biffOnly the Palestinians could think up something this absurd and think that the vagaries of the wind was something they didn’t need to take into account. Only the Palestinians could think of calling a kite with a bomb attached a “peace kite”. A little hashish works wonders.

My Mideast Punchlines: pass the spitoon…

At the UN, Palestinian President Abbas said he wants a peaceful two state solution. But last month he told the Palestinian people the exact opposite, saying of Israel, “This is our country.” And what did the media say about this contradiction? Nothing.

biffSnakes have certain characteristics, such as forked tongues, oleaginous bodies and a propensity to spit venom. Remind you of anyone?