My Mideast Punchlines: the snake in the grass…

Palestinians plan to claim Hebron’s old city and Tomb of the Patriarchs via the UN World Heritage list.

This is a new front in the war over the holy places that the Palestinians are trying to ignite as part of their propaganda campaign against Israel and the history of the Jewish people,” Israel’s Ambassador to UNESCO Carmel Shama HaCohen told The Jerusalem Post on Thursday . . .

If the 21-member committee approves the PA’s request, it would mark the first time that a Jewish holy site under Israeli control was registered to the “State of Palestine.”

The next step is logical. The Palestinians will  claim that Adam and Eve were in fact named Ahmed and Aisha. They will substantiate their claim by asserting that the snake in the grass bore a striking resemblance to Yasser Arafat.

My Mideast Punchlines: whose news is a fake take?

The Palestinians are clearly yanking Secretary of State Rex Tillerson’s chain. Follow the bouncing ball . . .

– Tillerson says the PA has changed its policy on terror stipends.
– Israel says PA has not halted payments to terrorists.
– Palestinian official says PA will continue funding terror stipends.

So someone  is spreading fake news. Might it be Trump’s man? Poor Tillerson is rapidly finding out that reality in the Middle East is of the virtual kind. Ya pays ya money, Rex, and ya takes ya choice.

My Mideast Punchlines: between a rock and a hard place….

Hamas jailed a Palestinian who posted a video on YouTube criticising the terror group. Mohammed al-Taluli, 25, accused Hamas of “pushing the youths to death” by encouraging teens to demonstrate near the Israel-Gaza border, reports the Times of Israel.

In recent days, two Palestinians were killed in clashes after throwing rocks at Israeli soldiers.

So what’s new? When I was a reporter in Israel way back in 1970, Gaza youths were paid five bucks to throw grenades at Israeli army jeeps. They weren’t much into martyrdom in those far off days, so the kids used to deliberately miss their targets.  Problem was the damage done to their own people. The words ‘innocent bystanders killed’ became axiomatic.

My Mideast Punchlines: Hamas cash runnels funnel funds for tunnels

The UN Relief and Works Agency, which provides assistance to Palestinian refugees, discovered a Hamas tunnel under two Gaza schools sharing the same premises. The Jerusalem Post writes:

In a statement, UNRWA spokesperson Christopher Gunness said that the tunnels were discovered during construction of an extension of one of the buildings during summer vacation, when the schools were empty. The tunnel had no entry or exit points within the school.

In a sign of the times, a Saudi newspaper harshly condemned Hamas, saying the terror group endangers Gaza’s civilians:

“Hamas allocates millions of Saudi and UAE dollars in order to support Iranian-orchestrated terror.”

The leading Saudi newspaper drew parallels between the Islamic State and those of Hamas, stating that “there is no difference between them.”

The newspaper called for immediate Arab intervention in order to prevent Hamas’ exploitation of Gaza’s citizens and even “to save their lives.”

Are you listening BDS? This is something we’ve been saying for years. Still, it’s refreshing to hear it come from the Saudis, who hitherto have been far from being paragons of virtue.

My Mideast Punchlines: living in sin …..

With the Mideast shaken up by Egypt and the Gulf states severing ties with Qatar over its sponsorship of terror groups, Israeli officials see opportunities, assess that Qatar’s dalliance with pro-Iran groups made the crisis overdue, and said the developments are very very bad for Hamas.

With Qatar’s only land border with Saudi Arabia now shut, Qataris rushed supermarkets, emptying shelves of food. The crisis is already squeezing Qatar’s economy, air travel, and even the 2022 World Cup.

Experts say a prolonged crisis will push Qatar closer to Turkey and Iran. Turkey and Kuwait have offered to mediate.

What a spectacular own goal for the perfidious Qataris. The icing on the cake, of course, would be if they were to be stripped of  hosting the 2022 World Cup, something they gained only through massive corruption. What is it about Arabs that they fail at almost everything. Well, avarice, envy and sloth for starters. While the seven deadly sins may be of Christian origin, the Arabs have taken on that mantle with gusto. So it’s good to see an eighth deadly sin has now been added to the list: al Jazeera!

My Mideast Punchlines: oy vey….

A terrorist suspect arrested after planning to join Islamic State wanted to carry out a gun attack on Jewish Tottenham Hotspur fans, a court heard.

Aweys Faqey, 37, is said to have discussed plans to get hold of automatic weapons and kill Jews in Stamford Hill, north London.

Stamford Hill is dominated by Jews of the Hasidic persuasion. I’ve been going to Spurs for nigh on 59 years, and I’ve never seen anyone at White Hart Lane wearing the distinctive garb of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth of the 18th century. Closet Spurs fans some of them may be, but you’d never know it.

Tacky Faqey is clearly a salt beef sandwich short of a picnic.

My Mideast Punchlines: Labour beef about wreath…

UK Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn is facing fresh condemnation from within his own party amid revelations that he attended a wreath-laying ceremony for a Palestinian terror chief in 2014. The Daily Telegraph explains:

Less than a year before becoming Labour leader, Mr Corbyn visited the cemetery in Tunisia where members of the Palestine Liberation Organisation are buried, including Atef Bseiso, who was directly involved in the Munich attack, prompting outrage from Jewish groups.

Bseiso was assassinated in Paris in 1992. The PLO blamed the Mossad, though others have suggested Bseiso was killed by the Abu Nidal Group.

Most of us are praying that Corbyn loses heavily in the forthcoming general election. I, for one, will be happy to lay a wreath marking his demise. Its message would read: RIP (Rest in Palestine).

My Mideast Punchlines: wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles….

Despite BDS efforts, cinemas throughout Lebanon will be screening Wonder Woman, which stars Israeli actress Gal Gadot. Ynet writes:

The campaign against Wonder Woman began in April, when the movement sent a letter to the Bureau for the Boycott of Israel within Lebanon’s Ministry of Economy and Trade. The letter noted that Gadot is the former beauty queen of Israel, who served in the IDF and publicly supported Operation Protective Edge in 2014. Since then, however, Lebanese filmmakers have promoted the film and called on the public to buy tickets in advance.

Of course, even Hezbollah leader Hassan Nasrallah has been forced to accept that every Israeli female is a woman of wonders. I know. I married one.

My Mideast Punchlines: gallows humour….

Late Thursday afternoon, Hamas executed three Palestinian “collaborators” it accused of assassinating one of the terror group’s commanders. The execution, by hanging, was partially streamed live on Facebook.

Is Hamas going soft? They usually throw these people from the top of tall buildings.

My Mideast Punchlines: put the blame on the dame….

Norway demanded the PA return money it provided for a women’s centre after learning it was named after terrorist Dalal Mughrabi. She’s a Palestinian poster girl for terror, for her participation in the 1978 Coastal Road massacre, in which 38 Israeli civilians — including 13 children — were killed.

“The glorification of terrorist attacks is completely unacceptable, and I deplore this decision in the strongest possible terms. Norway will not allow itself to be associated with institutions that take the names of terrorists in this way. We will not accept the use of Norwegian aid funding for such purposes,” Norwegian Foreign Minister Borge Brende said in a statement.


Brende said that Norway had been unaware of the decision to name the centre after Mughrabi. He demanded that the country’s name be removed from the centre and that the funds it gave for construction be returned.

Good for you, Norway. It’s about time you took a rest from Israel-bashing to lay the blame where it really lies.